A Letter to My Brother Meyer Nechemya

My Dear Brother Meyer Nechemya, 

I've tried and failed to write this letter so many times because the tears cloud my vision every time I make an attempt. 

I can't believe it's been just over a week. A week since mommy showed up at my front door with the worst imaginable news. 

You were supposed to live more then just 24 years. You were supposed to watch my kids grow up. You were supposed to come over and swing them up onto your back and give them rides like you always did. You were supposed to be here for birthdays and holidays and family get togethers. 

Swarms of people were there to watch you be laid to rest and all of them had tears in their eyes. Everyone loved you Meyer, you were incredibly special to so many! 

When the dirt hit your coffin, I felt like I could no longer physically stand but at the same time I felt your peace and I know that you are now in a better place. I kept repeating "no, no, no" out loud and in my head because you were taken from us what seems like far too soon. I know God has a plan for us all and that you are with Him now but I really just can't imagine life without you. 

At shiva we got to hear all of the incredible stories of your kindness and how many lives you actually physically saved with your own two hands. I knew how special you were but now I know that you were an angel sent to this world for an intended purpose, to be everything you were for others. 

You were so much more then just an amazing brother to me, you were my best friend from 
the moment you arrived home as a newborn in mommys arms. 

I feel so alone without you even though I know I have the support of so many at this terrible time. 

Remember when we used to paddle out to the shallow part of the lake at the cottage and catch minnows and crayfish? Remember when we used to ride our bikes for hours in the hatzoloh parking lot? Remember when we would watch fireworks at rcc? I have so many memories fresh and old of us and I will hold onto them forever. 

You were an incredible son to our parents, the perfect brother to Rae, Mendy, Chanie, Avrumy and Me and you were an awesome friend to so many! I can't believe I have to say good bye. I'm not ready, how can I ever be? 

I will always celebrate your life by telling your stories and speaking of all the beautiful deeds you so selflessly did for others.  I will tell the world how much you loved animals and dogs and how much they loved you back. I will explain about how you always saw beauty in the stunning world around us. My list of goals to achieve in your memory is so long and I believe you would have loved seeing the things you stood for and loved come to fruition. I will do that for you my little brother. And I will see you again when the world learns to love one another and there is peace at last. Because only a world such as that will be suitable for a kind soul like you. 

We started #pawprintsformeyer for you and it will become something incredible one day, I will make sure of it.  An organization called Marquis Home Care is donating $1 for every time that hashtag is used. There is images of paw prints drawn on hands all across social media and I know you would have been so pleased. The money is going to an organization called the Center for Animal Assisted Therapy so that they can continue their amazing work, cheering up the down and lonely with their adorable baby animals. This is just the start. 

Thank you for being the best brother you could have possibly been to me, the best brother in law to my husband and the most special, loved uncle to my kids, Meyer. 

I miss you so much that my heart hurts and I feel like a peace of me is missing now without you but I love you as I always have and I feel grateful and lucky to have known you and spent time with you for as long as I did. 

I close this letter in great sadness. I will always remember the way your  warm smile lit up your whole face and the way your dimples indented deep in your cheeks each time. I will remember all the times I held you close and hugged you. 

I love you and miss you!

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